Hello Jaye Scribers!!!!! What's going on? Hot? Yes I know, I too have been trying to stay cool in this onslaught of unmanageable heat that came purely out of no where. Anywho...today I want to talk about Choices That Bind.
I know that everything that we do in life is some sort of choice. Whether or not it's choosing one type of soda to drink or choosing to go to church on Sunday, etc. You get my drift. However those are NOT the type of choices I want to discuss. I'm specifically talking about choices that BIND. Bind us to a job, bind us to a person or worse bind us to an idea of an impossible situation or relationship.
How many of us are working a job because we made the choice, "I have to make money"? And now you're making money, going to work everyday and miserable because you don't love what you do? I think that for most of us work connecting to stability was something that our parents instilled in us from an early age. They wanted to make sure that we had what they did not most of their life...stability!! That we did not make the same mistakes that they did.
And so we ventured out into our lives and we got something that was stable and paid the bills, but we forgot about us. We forgot about the little girl who wanted to be a doctor but she settled on going to trade school to become a nurse or dental assistant. We forgot about the little boy who wanted to be a rock star but now instead he's working at the post office singing at the office parties for free because they can't afford entertainment.
As much as we need stability we need to also LOVE what we do. Dreams are POSSIBLE!!!! They are attainable, but they do take LOTS of work to achieve. I guess in this situation the most important question is: "Are you ready to make a choice that binds you to your dream?" Can we really all do what we love to do? I mean someone has to work at the McDonald's drive-thru, right? Who's going to tend the gardens? Who's going to wash the cars? ALL of these are questions that most of us have thought about and because of the obvious answers we tell ourselves, 'dreams are just that...dreams'.
Maybe you're work is not your issue. Maybe you DO love what you do....but are you happy with who you're with?
I find that a lot of people at some point in their lives (including myself) have been in a relationship that just DID NOT work out!!! We prodded and pleaded with ourselves to believe and stick with the idea of perfection that we tried to simulate by being what we THOUGHT they wanted. Unfortunately no matter how much we try and change ourselves if they're not willing to work and make it work then it can never prosper. But WHY do we continue to pour into something that has a major hole in it? Most times we confuse love with lust, plain and simple. I don't care what ANYONE has to say LOVE is not suppose to hurt. It doesn't cause you to intentionally hurt that person, it doesn't call for you to just do whatever you want simply becaues you're not married or whatever the case. Love SHOULD be something that holds you accountable to the people you say you love. If you find that you have NOTHING in common with a person outside of things they do for you, their looks, their paycheck, their sex...then you might not really be in love.
We should all try to understand that real love is about knowing how your significant other defines love. You can't push YOUR definition of love onto someone else who doesn't share the same definition. As many of us do though, we stick around a bad situation for months and even years praying and hoping that the situation (better yet the person) will change. And we stay why? Not because we're happy? Because we make a choice that binds us to that person. We choose to hope for the best and "one day" things will get better. I have a question for you: "How long will you wait for better?"
Sometimes we have to put on our grown up drawers and accept what IS....not what you want things to be. In this situation you really have to ask yourself, "Are you willing to miss out on Great because you're making a choice that binds you to just 'ok'?"
Everyone reaches a point in their lives where they are tired of being tired. They are forced to make a life changing or even just a situation changing decision. I hope that if you are making choices that bind you, that at very least they are binding you to a job you overly enjoy, a love that is healthy and flourishing and lastly a choice that binds you to a foundation that when even in the midst of a storm you know that you will survive for the better.
Don't allow traditions and projected expectations to force you to make choices that bind you to hurt, depression and heartache.
Please share your thoughts, your stories, your experiences and opionions. As you know I love to read them and I will do my best to respond and chime in.
~Till Next Blog I'm Danyol Jaye with The Jaye Spot~
